The Post of Inconsistent Themes

So I had college today, but rewind, before I had college my mum was driving me up to college and said “It’s too cold to walk home like this, you need a winter jacket, I’ma’ buy you one” or something to that effect, “guess this coldness finally became good for something” I thought so we went and found a nice, good looking very warm leather jacket with thick lining, and I pointed and said “That.”, “we’ll take it” my mum said to the store person. (ad libbing/paraphrasing more)

So I got to college all very happy with my new awesome jacket sat down and then some classmate of mine walks in from the opposite side of the room WEARING THE SAME GOD DAMN JACKET. I wanted to rage but I was in a class room so I just let the irritation fester away all day, the funny thing is that I don’t think he noticed.

On to something else, I’ve been thinking recently and no matter how hard I ponder it I only get more and more certain that the concept of ‘unconditional love’ is completely retarded.

be loved for who you are and what’s great about you, or be loved because either the person is obligated to because of being a family member or reasons that can best be summed up as, “I dunno, lol” where the person loves you for no reason, either way it just seems completely hollow and meaningless.

Thoughts anyone?

Still frustrated about that jacket situation, not sure what I should do about it, murder the guy or just swallow my irritation and keep wearing it and make some kind of dry humoured joke about it to him to clear the awkwardness.

I should finally have my cello tuned tonight, whenever I try I think “the string’s too tight >.<” every time I get close, but my mum, being a music teacher will help me and then if I do break another string I can blame it on her, alternatively if all goes well I’m going to master the hell out of ‘London Bridge is burning down’, I’ll be playing renditions of it in concert halls everywhere, just you wait and see.

*Ding* new years *fireworks*

I just started typing this as it turned 2010.

But really new year’s isn’t very significant to me, if I was still at school using books I’d be thinking “all it means is that I’ll have to put a different date on all my work”

All cynicism aside, I will try to get into the new years spirit, maybe a bit literally by raiding the alcohol stash if I didn’t hate the sensation of being drunk and I wasn’t a complete lightweight, since I’m completely alone at home and everyone seems to have fucked off of MSN and such. (… and the cynicism comes rushing back)

As for resolutions? it’s a toss up between following some of my own advice I gave Brendan about basically facing people and social situations enthusiastically despite our bad experiences, or not breaking cello strings, that’s right not even had my cello a week and I broke one trying to tune, especially frustrating as I had spent ages tuning it.

(you tune one string and others go out of tune, but the more you tune the less true that is. so yeah, I’m not going to let it get badly out of tune again)

Also in regards to whether I’m going to call it “two thousand and ten” or “twenty ten” I don’t care and I’m simply going to call it whatever becomes convention.

Been wanting to post this for a while, enjoy.

Edit: I suppose I should wish you a happy new year, happy new year.

Lyrics(I haven’t made a habit of posting lyrics recently, tell me if you want them or not):

We danced along to the violence
Not scared of anyone
And they wont complain
As long as we explain
Exactly what have we done

You see these walls
They wont kill that beast in your heart
Or deep in your soul
I wanna know if it’s just
An opinion, or lust
Why do we lose control?

Whooa oooh
We did nothing wrong
Whooa oooh
We did nothing wrong

We play ourselves like we’re victims
But we stand alone in line
Took that test when we were all the best
But we, just lost the time (just lost the time)
Bought ourselves when we knew all along
Knew all along, but we stayed
If we forget
Then I can re-regret a single word we said

Whooa oooh
We did nothing wrong
Whooa oooh
We did nothing wrong

All we want, all we take
All we love, All we hate
How we fell, all we feel
All that’s left, is nothing real?

As the final snowflake falls

“Admiration is the furthest point from understanding.”

So this will be my post Christmas post.

Of course, the main thing I would like to talk about is my GIFTS~

While somewhat dull this year my GIFTS~ were still very good, mostly.

I got some deodorant and socks, 3 times in fact which pretty much gets the dull part out of the way, not that it’s not appreciated. socks are good, they keep my feet warm and deodorant er…makes my presence more tolerable? Hmn, I guess that’s for everyone else’s sake.

As for good GIFTS~, I got collectively almost 100 pounds in WONGA (money) and for a change I actually don’t have anything to spend it on, at least not immediately. I will be saving £30 early to be super sure that I can get GW2 the second it comes out in a bit over a years time, other than that I’m just waiting for a book or two to be published, mainly Patrick Rothfuss’s part 2 in the King Killer Chronicles, The Wise Man’s Fear and a book that I have since forgotten the title or the author, but is a book set in the Guildwars universe, in Ascalon, from some Author who’s written a lot of game based books.

Anyway, back to GIFTS~

My brother Ricky will be pre ordering me Global Agenda, a game in beta testing that I would certainly suggest you check out.

I also got a Cello, It had been one of my all time favourite instruments for a while now and I had mentioned wanting to teach myself how to play it for a while, it seems to have payed off, squeaky wheel gets the grease, ya?

This is what I hope to be playing in … oh let’s say a couple of days time~

In all seriousness though, that track is stunningly beautiful in the most haunting and somewhat  sad way, no?

I do have a couple of pictures of myself from this Christmas and if they’re not terrible I shall post them in a later post, but I haven’t even seen them yet due to my mother always being annoying and procrastinating on such matters.

Then again it’s not like I don’t procrastinate myself. I am a master procrastinator, I do try and not procrastinate on things that are important to other people though.

Oh, I also got a wallet, which is great as I haven’t had one for ages, my money was just lying in a pile on my desk, so I’m pretty happy with that, though it is a synthetic fibre, Quicksilver one and I would of much preferred a classy leather wallet, fake leather or not. beggars can’t be choosers I guess.

As for the actual Christmas festivities it was all very unremarkable, family Christmas dinner, open GIFTS~, hang around, get drunk and eat way too much, but with one difference. My mother was away on Christmas day, so I had Christmas day with my father and two brothers then about 2 days later when my mother returned I then spent a Christmas “part 2″ day with her, my grandparents and my brother Ricky who joined also.

It was pretty damn irritating having to wait to open the second half of the GIFTS~ I had, especially since I had to feign patience while we sat at the dinner table after the feasting, making small talk. I guess my inner child refuses to go away, either that or it’s plain, old greed.

As for Freddy, Joe and Brendan I expect similar posts soon, as I want to hear all about your Christmas. (GIFTS~ mainly)

Merry yueltide

“Oh what the fuck are you doing here? it’s Christmas haven’t you got families to resent?” - Yahtzee Croshaw

I got dragon age origins working recently after I had been drowned in graphics errors and what can I say? it’s bloody fun, it had me up until past 4AM playing it last night, while that may not be strange for me normally, I had planned on going to bed at a normal time since I’ll need to have rested properly to resent my family.

I’ve made two characters so far, following both of my favourite RPG classes of all time, my main is a sort of healer, a mage creationist, and here he is:

My secondary is my second favourite class, sort of an archer, an elf rogue archer and here he is:

They look pretty similar, but nowadays I seem to be so obsessed with myself that I only feel like playing characters that are based off of me and those characters were both attempts to get it looking like it was me in game, a more handsome me I’m afraid.

My healer is playing the role of saint, and I’m basically choosing to do everything the moral way, being polite and respectful, helping out everyone I meet and not resulting to violence or intimidation.

My archer however is a bastard, he couldn’t give a damn about anyone and is only out for personal gain and will gladly kick ass to get the gain, I’m totally going to make him an assassin specialist when I get the chance.

Well I suppose I should talk a little more about Christmas. later today I’ll be heading over to my dad’s place, where my brothers are to spend Christmas with them, my mum went…somewhere for Christmas.

Personally I can’t wait for Christmas to end, get material goods and get the TV schedule back on track, which by using EZTV has become one of my most central of all ways of burning time, if you don’t frequent downloads from this site I would suggest you do, it’s a great source.

Anyway, so yeah, I may be completely unreachable from now to sometime on Christmas day when all the eating and present opening has been done. not like I really needed to say that, “it will be hard to reach me on Christmas” *shock horror*

So merry winters-day everyone and enjoy some festive, humorous medly music.

I would of rather found a studio recorded version but I couldn’t seem to find one.

Old games for old souls.

“The bad thing about “almost nothing” is that it is still something.”

Recently I’ve downloaded a ridiculous amount of old games, such as every single N64 game and Duke Nukem 3D, actually I think there might be Duke Nukem in my pile of ROMs, but I have the PC version.

Not as amusing as I would have hoped, seems the combination of good game, working on emulator properly and being somewhat playable on keyboard controls is pretty rare.

But there were some games I’ve been having a lot of fun with such as Starfox, had been years since I’d originally played and loved it on the N64 and after it became a huge internet meme I couldn’t help but laugh when I reached this point in the game as if I hadn’t of even seen it coming.

Another game I’ve been enjoying greatly was Starwars episode 1: Racer, thanks to Freddy for mentioning it, as it is brilliant fun.

Me racing in one of my  favourite pod racers:

Leaving my competitors well behind of course.

I’d really like them to make a new version of this game with modern graphics, customisable pods, online play etc. at the moment you can upgrade performance, but you can do nothing to change how your pod racer looks.

So I’ve also been trying out Duke Nukem, since i had never played it before I just thought I simply had to, it’s pretty enjoyable and I get so gleeful whenever he says something awesome.

“Weapon raised”, it’s not talking about the money in his hand, if you know what I mean. ;D

And last but not least I’ve been playing some F-Zero, such a simple yet hugely enjoyable game such is the charm of old games.

Although I was a bit disheartened when I remembered playing a much nicer version, I have no idea what console it was on though.

I think I’ll try and track it down sometime, shouldn’t be too difficult.

But if there’s one thing that’s great about F Zero it is the music, at least for the N64, all the soundtracks I’m finding on youtube seem to be from the SNES and much worse, so instead I’ll end my blog post with some completly irrelivent music.

In fact this has some relevance, from Racer X and two of the games were racers, and Technical Difficulties is the name of the song and I sure had my fair share of them, also they’re a pretty old band.

Venator

“there is more in Heaven and Earth Horatio than in our philosophy.”

I love philosophy, in honour of it I’m going to put two philosophical quotes in my blog today.

“True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.”

I seriously ponder these things more than is healthy, I’d love to discuss philosophy with Socrates himself.

He would sure make a more interesting conversationalist than my average classmate, or well just about anyone to be honest.

Okay that was interesting, I had to stop blogging just then as I received and email from Hank Green, one of the Vlogbrothers on Youtube, a mass email not one just to me I’m afraid.

It was for the youtube project for awesome power hour in which I took part in, where vloggers post their “p4a” videos talking about charities and trying to get people to donate to their charity of choice, then us nerdfighters, favourite it, rate it and spam comments to get them on the Youtube main page.

we took over the popularity of the Avatar trailer apparently during our last video bumping, 14 thousand comments in 10 minutes on ‘Pogobat’s’ p4a.

I’ll probably participate in the next power hour at 2AM as well, since I don’t have money to give to charity I might as well help Nerdfighteria get other people to donate, don’t you think? ( if I do I may come in with an edit on this post to talk about it.)

Anyway that really distracted me and now I don’t remember what I was going to blog about, so I’ll end it here with a video of one of my new great musical loves; Be’lakor.

books and other stuff.

I recently got me a couple of books, though I haven’t really began to read either of them I’d thought I would talk a little about what I got, since I’m kind of excited on the account of not having had a chance to read anything for quite a while now.

The heroin diaries, by Niki Sixx

Brendan suggested this and so far from the few sort of intro pages I’ve read I’m pretty confident this will be one of my favourite books. I won’t discuss it in much detail as Brendan has already talked about it extensively in his own blog which probably will have been read by anyone who sees this, but simply it’s an autobiography of Niki Sixx, bassist of Motley Crue and his severe drug addiction problems.

there’s an album based on the book by Sixx AM and like Brendan I was pretty backwards with this because I had listened to that long before reading the book… which I haven’t even done yet

Edit: I started reading it this evening and at some points I become lost for words and just uttered “holy fuck”, it’s really intense and I would deffinatly advise buying it, as Brendan said it’s worth every penny.

Next up

The Iliad, by Homer.

Now this is ancient Greek literature, set during the Trojan war and with classical literature you really need to make sure you get a decent translation of it, it can make the difference to making your eyes bleed and a truly beautiful and stunning book.

I think I got a good copy this time, been trying to get this book for a while now and have struggled for reasons that you don’t care about and I won’t bore you with.

Again this is another situation I got a bit backwards, cause I had read “The Odyssey.” first which was a book also written by homer set after the Trojan war.  it was fantastic in so many ways and the Greeks apparently knew how to argue and insult, unlike us where we’ll be like “fuck you, piece of shit” “piss off, twat”. there is some really gleeful, almost page long dialogues in which you find a truck load of beautifully worded insults both direct and indirect. but reading the Iliad wasn’t necessary, it just ultimately meant I wasn’t as familiar with some characters as I should have been, and I am very much looking forward to start reading another epic and reading not only about the trials of mortal men but the Greek gods themselves.

Now for some TV talk, I had always assumed ‘24′ was an overrated TV show simply because of the levels of hype, I’ve started to watch the first season and it is a great show, though it hasn’t topped my favourite list of shows it is a very good watch so far, and Jack …Bouer (I think?) is really bad ass in his own way.

I’m certainly glad to have a load of TV to watch considering it’s Christmas time and most shows have gone on break, since it’s Christmas and that’s what people do,  who knew?

College is being very irritating, we’re supposed to finish up our work for Christmas which I’m behind on and it seems that every day I go we get given more work.

I was debating with myself whether to put an annoying Christmas classic song in my blog now that it’s coming close, but I figured I’ll probably make another blog entry just before Christmas and I can torture you then, I don’t think there’s a Christmas song I like, but it’s obligatory in my opinion.

So without further ado, have some Metric.

Last night I had my music on shuffle, which is something I don’t do often and this started playing as I walked back into my room, I immediately started spontaneously dancing, which again I don’t do often.

Superficial sanity.

“You’re in no position to be concerned about someone else.”

College was a complete waste of time today, our class and I got there at 9AM, we waited for 30 minutes, got told our lesson was at 11AM, then got there at 11AM and got told to go home, useless college.

in other news Christmas looms closer and closer, well more like it continues with it’s attack run while dropping bombs, interrupting the TV schedule completely, I find myself pondering, as I have found myself doing for pretty much every festivity for two or three years now about just how incredibly alien and mutated such festivities are from their original form, thanks to our eccentric and bizarre commercial society, where things of high sentimental value have been reduced to celebrations of material.

But alas there is nothing to do but just enjoy the presents and say “good bye” to our values and culture and just about anything that’s important but not tangible, such is the way of modern society, but hey at least there’s cool stuff to buy, give and be given, coolest one of three being given stuff.

I had a job interview recently, after too many application forms to be counted and no prize for anyone who guesses whether I got the job or not, useless economy/businesses/people/humanity.

So I am at least looking forward to getting free stuff quite a lot.

But that’s enough cynicism for one day.

Edit: changed song.

So if you’re pissed like me, bitches here’s what you gotta’ do, put your middle fingers up in the air, go on and say ‘Fuck you!’  ~

Chewing on hair bands

Which is what I realised I was doing for some reason as I was about to start typing this.

“Don’t use such strong words, it makes you look weak.”

It turns out that I get to finish college for Christmas as soon as I have done a certain amount of course work that’s due, so I headed into college more studious than normal and started doing good work, but immediately hit a road block with the stupid ICT project work, which makes very little sense and our first assignment at pass level is more work than most of our merits and some of our distinctions in other classes, our Project teacher wasn’t in today so I left about 12:00, so it was nice having the short day, though I figure it will take me until next Monday to finally complete what needs completing.

I take back what I was  saying last about not being online and active because of being busy, turns out we’re less busy than normal, somehow.

I’m actually kind of annoyed that it’s Christmas time, sure I get good food and money and gifts and stuff and I use my convenient excuse of not having any money or income as to why i don’t buy anyone else gifts, but dealing with another huge shortage in TV so soon after the thanksgiving drought is just plain annoying.

At least Christmas has a chance of getting some pictures of me I like, so I may end up posting some pictures of myself soon, who knows, I’m not very photogenic.

Some music:

I love this track, haven’t seen the music video until today, weird as hell but I still love it, also looking at a man’s naked upper body for 3:36 seconds is in no way gay.

Also after repeated attempts at getting you guys to give me music suggestions in the comments I haven’t got anything from you yet, still I’ve been slowly building my music collection, up to 17.3 GB, take a look.

Click for good size~

Small collection I know, why do you think I’ve kept asking you guys for your suggestions? – my old collection used to be huge but I forgot half of the stuff I had, which probably means what I lost was all garbage anyway, but still.

Also, I’m still waiting for my medic on TF2, Brendan.

Edit: Started downloading some of the Doves, thanks for posting them on your blog, Freddy. <3

A Virgin forever, GW2 and other stuff.

So it turns out we’re not going to Sky, thank god, we’re sticking with Virgin and getting a new modem and router as well, so my internet will be getting better, things went better than expected. 0_o

Also, I was very happy to see, and watch and watch and watch and watch over and over again the latest GW2 Trailer,  that sheds light on the races of GW2.

First thoughts: humans are very much what I expected, the Charr are freaking awesome, the norn are a little more modest and they now have a new like “spirit of the wild” or whatever they call it, the snow leopard, if you ask me raven, bear and wolf was a cool trio, the leopard addition seems like a bad idea, the Asurans look a lot better, loving their new look, not so much loving the new golems but we had known about these since the earlier trailer just didn’t see quite as much of them, the Sylvari can go a little too green for my liking and their hair looks totally fake, but they can still look good.

then I realised, through all of that I couldn’t see an obvious monk, which made me panic a bit, watched it a couple times more and noticed a woman wearing mostly white stuff standing behind a woman wearing a red dress when they show the group of humans (0:44) that could very well be a monk, still they’re not giving us monk fans much to go on.

I’ve pretty much stopped playing GW1, playing it on the odd occasion but not really enjoying it, guess that would happen with any game you’ve played for 5,789 hours, the game has been good to me and I trust GW2 can rival such game play hours.

In the mean time I have this random MMORPG I’m beta testing ‘Allods’ not much to say about it really, it’s got WoW’esc graphics, two allegiances, but the one thing that sets it apart is this whole thing about flying around in the “astral” some weird purperly atmospheric …stuff that you traverse with astral ships, and you can have sort of pirate’esc cannon wars and I’m enjoying it, playing a healer my favourite MMORPG class.

Also I’ve gotten into Team Fortress 2, a game I’ve had since getting the Orange Box on release but never really played, I’m finding it great fun, favourite classes at the moment being Pyroman and Scout. when i first started though I was having fun as Medic and Sniper, if any of you have TF2 you should totally join me, I don’t really have many people to play it with at the moment.

I probably wont be too available from now until like Christmas, turns out we got like a couple of weeks or so of this special kind of thing where the lecturers see what everyone’s done and make a special effort to make sure everyone’s done everything they’ve needed to do before Christmas and I am far behind on some coursework, so I may not blog at all until like Christmas and even be at all available on MSN, Xfire, steam etc. so in case I don’t see you soon, see you later!